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Date:2005-06-25 15:36

what am I doing with my life? your guess is as good as mine. maybe i'll decide it all today. i have the urge. it never works as such though.
I can't wait til Alabama! I just need to get away for a little while. Work was really rough on Friday. I've been very absent minded while i'm there so i got a little yelled at about it. I did stupid things without realizing it like leaving the big fridge open multiple times. I hate being chastised but it was needed. I can't let my life affect my work. it's hard not to.
Honey Dew has reaally good iced coffee. I think you should go get some and then bring me some mocha madness too.

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Date:2005-06-22 22:23

i'm sorry but WhAT?!?

* 12% had h.s. GPA of 3.0 and higher
* 43% had h.s. GPA of 2.0 - 2.99
* 1% had h.s. GPA of 1.0 - 1.99
* 44% had h.s. GPA below 1.0

no ASU for me.

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Date:2005-06-09 09:17

Your Birthdate: :) 18

Your birthday on the 18th day of the month suggests than you are one who can work well with a group, but still remain someone who needs to maintain individual identity.

There is a humanistic or philanthropic approach to business circumstances in which you find yourself.

You may have good executive abilities, as you are very much the organizer and administrator.

You are broad-minded, tolerant and generous; a compassionate person that can inspire others with imaginative ideas.

Some of your feelings may be expressed, but even more of them are apt to be repressed.

There is a lot of drama in your personality and in the way you express yourself to others.

Oddly enough, you don't expect as much in return as you give.

how do they do these things? I don't know about the executive thing but yooo. FasCinating!

it's gorgeous outside.

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Date:2005-06-07 16:21

i have, seriously, the best job ever! My boss is amAzing and the people there rock. Today I went in and packed some of the freezer meals for our meals on wheels program but after that we took a mini 'field trip'. We went into Chelsea and Boston to take care of some stuff- so basically my job for today consisted of driving around and hanging out with my very cool boss. Good times.
God is good, He's just too good to me.
I still can't shake that feeling, even with this job. I still feel like i'm not doing what i'm supposed to be doing. it's really bugging me. I need a vacation. Texas *what what* weekend after the 4th:)

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Date:2005-06-07 02:02
Subject:not too shabby
Mood: lethargic

hey, it's not been that long:)
It was cool almost speaking to you Ben. hope you're good. I'm starting the running thing and trying to get back into reasonable running ability. I went today and did like a mile I think and my body was dying. i'm going to keep at it.

My friends from school came over for a little bit tonight. Two guys and one of the guys' cousins. It was good seeing them. Lately i've been having this sketchy feeling at the pit of me and i had it again tonight when they left. I feel like i'm not doing what i'm supposed to be doing- like my purpose is heading in one direction and i'm standing motionless going around in circles. i don't like it. I need to pray about it.

Simon was in church this sunday. he was a bit messed up with his meds (he has cancer). It broke my heart to see him like that. It's always hard seeing people suffer, be in pain or going through something really difficult. I always ask God why these things happen- and when it comes down to it, there is no answer really. All there is is the knowledge that God is there in that suffering and hurt and no matter what happens, He's still a good God. My mom smokes. It will be hard to live the aforementioned statement when she gets cancer.

hope you're all wonderful,
i miss having class with you Bob, hope the painting gig is working out,

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Date:2005-05-27 00:06

wow, it's been such a while.
life's not bad. i have a new job at a soup kitchen and I think i'm headed to Fitchburg State next semester but that's about it- not too much has changed.
I had a pretty hard day at work today so jaclyn00marie and I went to the movies and saw Crash. It was an amazing movie.As corny as it sounds, i go to the movies to escape reality but with this one that's all that I got. My mind still has to work through everything. Go see it.
I wonder sometimes if I don't sit back and let life happen to me. I really believe it makes a difference living life as opposed to passively sitting around and letting it happen to me. If I was less passive I would probably quit this job and find a job that pays a buttload to save up for school and then go to school and do what I need to do to get to where I want to be in the future.
Anyway, sorry for the absence,
I miss you folks and check in every once in a while.

Hengi- imma try and be online more, keep running
Bob- I had so much fun at your party, thanks for inviting me. I wish I could have been there longer, your friends are awesome:) tell krystal I said congrats.

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Date:2004-12-13 22:36

So here i am about six months later- officially a server at bugabbo creek steakhouse. Come eat there and ask for me:)

I'm so tired of all the schoolwork I have to do this week. I must get it all done I know but I feel exhausted just thinking about it. It'll be cool though. I just need to get focused for one more week and i'll be set.

It's really rather difficult to meet people at NorthShore but with all the clubs and such i've come to meet a lot of new people. There's this one person that I've recently met. Our interaction, minimal as it is, is different from any other relationship i have or ever had. He calls me out on things i never realized about myself. Things i let slide about me that i shouldn't. It's weird because i'm not at all offended or uncomfortable.

I have to work tomorrow Jaclyn:( But hopefully i'll be cut early enough to make it to Master's. There's one girl who can possibly pick up saturday for me. We'll see. i'm bummed out about tomorrow but i'm praying and hoping.

gotta run, last minute assignment due.

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Date:2004-11-30 22:49

Half the time I spend in here is spent procrastinating and wasting time that could otherwise be spent in some form of academic advancement. meh.

Today has been a really unusual day. I kinda liked it but it challenged me in different ways. I have a paper due that's kicking my butt. The same one with the citing info stuff. Apparently there's a class that does teach all this, "it's called comp1". (Tutor in lab) The only thing is I am in comp1 and I'm not starting to learn it til tomorrow. Close but no cigar. I went to the Bible study again tonight. I hate missing my favorite show (Gilmore Girls) but it's cool. We had really good conversation but what i'm learning more than anything is how to form my own opinions and thoughts. I feel like i've been really lazy with forming my own ideas of things. I do have beliefs but I haven't thought a lot of them through. Like College, I know I want to go to college but what do I want out of it and where am i going next year? Life things too but mainly God things. It was nice to sit back and listen to people talk.

Current Book: Mansfield Park by Jane Austen. This is my all time favorite author and I love all her books but this one is proving a little hard to get through. It's all 18th century kinda stuff about balls and mansions and society and romance. I haven't met a guy yet who's read her but I want to. It would be nice to have a guys perspective on such a book.

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Date:2004-11-28 19:43

crummy Lynn education. How did I make it thus far in my life without learning how to properly cite things in research papers? There should be a class teaching me how to do this. It seems real easy in theory but then again i'm probly doing it all wrong.meh.

how was your thanksgiving?

It was good to finally see you caitlin:)

peace out homeslice

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Date:2004-11-23 18:03
Subject:oh jess

I would just like to take this moment to say, I'm listening to Christmas songs and it makes me really happy. It's about time the world caught up to what i've been saying for umm... ever! it is defintiely almost christmas:)

I just watched an old Gilmore Girls. Why did they have to get rid of Jess? Here's a guy who reads all these books, knows crazy cool bands (bet he'd know the guy u told me about Bob), and has enough quick wit to keep one on their toes. If ever there was a time for television to mirror true life, this would be my pick.

Anywho, Ben's post on busyness made me more aware of what I keep doing. It's a vicious cycle. I have to try not to do it next semester- this busyness thing. I can't help it. I had a french test today that I think i absolutely bombed. I flunked the last quiz... and by flunked I do mean the good old fashioned way.

Tomorrow is my first training shift as a server. wish me luck and when i'm done, come sit with me.

gotta run,

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Date:2004-11-18 15:31

So i've come to a few conclusions. The first being that I really need to get new glasses- this whole wishful thinking/ ignorant thing isn't quite working for me anymore. Not really saying that it did all that well before.
I've also decided that I need to be better with my relationships. I keep saying that i don't have time and in reality I don't have this abundance of time but I need to make time. I've been struck in the last two weeks by how fake we humans can be and i've decided to not to be fake as much as I can help it.
People keep asking me how school is. My response is always the same detached "fine". For real though school is not going so well. I sacrificed a lot of time and effort for things that didn't necessarily deserve them and now i'm paying for it.

I went to the Peabody library to pick up a book and was reminded just how easy it is to please me. I got all excited at how great their library works with all their lovely cd's and dvd's that I actually want to check out. I wanted some Sinatra but I couldn't find him. I think i'll go back. Hey Ben, see, you're not the only geek around:)

so what's up with you?

current book: Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich. This is turning out to be a really good book in lots of different ways. It's non-fiction about life as a low wage worker in America. The author leaves her life and gets low wage jobs in different states to see if the pay matches the expenses. It's really good and easy to get through.

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Date:2004-11-09 22:48

I'm drinking Lipton lemon tea and it's really quite good. I couldn't find any green tea so I was bummed out but this isn't too shabby.

It's been a while but life in the colonies post election and post Red Sox history still goes on. I've been having a hard time finding good music lately that I can get into. None of my cd's seem to fit my moods but tonight it fees like it's coming back. 12 Stones, underoath, maybe some Frank Sinatra in a bit:) Jaclyn, you're such a pal. Thanks for coming over last night. The poster looked amazing on the table and I did the nets in the morning (everyone thought they were too cool).

Looks like this Kenyan's going to be in the colonies for a bit longer. Kinda bums me out in lots of respects but i'll make it worthwhile. I'm thinking of doing an internship next semester at My Brother's Table (soup kitchen).

Bob- that's awesome about the car i'm so excited for you. It was nice seeing you at work, sorry i couldn't come over and visit. People just kept coming in so by the time I got away you were done:( hope it was good.

All northshore area folks: This Monday there's going to be a 3 on 3 basketball tournament from 1 to 5 pm in the Lynn Gym. Hoops for Hunger we've dubbed it. The cost is $20 for a whole team so if you're 'nasty' or can dribble a basketball you should come out. If you're not, then buy a raffle ticket, all the money goes to My Brother's Table.

I blew my classes off today and did the Hoops table but I couldn't have picked a worse day. I need to get back on the ball with everything.

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Date:2004-10-25 19:32
Subject:hear ye hear ye

there's so much of life to understand and I don't think that my brain can wrap itself around all of it so I simply cut some of it out. The sox are making me happy but Bob is right- we're not going to get through this that easy.
I'm feeling rather rappish as my mood said. I couldn't find any good rap around so I'm listening to some online. it's an hour straight mix by DJ Icey Ice. It's good.

November 15th is the deadline for my application to Davidson, it's also Hoops for Hunger. If you're in the Lynn area, COME CHECK IT OUT! there's so much planning involved and I can't wait. more to come later.

Focus was interesting on Sunday night. Focus is a sort of Bible study/ hangout thing my church has every other sunday night with 18 and overs. This guy Simon was down from New York and he's 22 I think. He sounds like he has all these things figured out and I want that. It's such a process with me but someday I'll be where I need to be.

Tomorrow there's a cancer bake sale/ raffle that the women's center is putting on. Bring money and buy my goodies. They'll be good. I promise.

I feel like I just wrote a bulletin of my life.

P.S. I miss you. especially today.

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Date:2004-10-22 23:33
Subject:sup livejournal

my sophea is in the shop for the night. It was kinda scary not having brakes on my car. This morning I was going to school and this lady was gonna cross and I was gonna stop for her and the car wouldn't do it. It did that locked in thing where it skids way past the desired point. She hadn't crossed or anything yet but it was quite scary. Anywho I took my baby in and it's gonna cost me almost 200 bucks but she's worth it and I get it back tomorrow. This guy from work was awesome and brought me all the way home. Thanks David.you're a pal:)

time for bed.

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Date:2004-10-18 20:37
Mood: drained

livejournals being dumb, i was trying to comment on all my friends's journals but
somewhere along my escapade it wouldn't let me finish so if i didn't post something on your journal yet I will soon.
Anyway, it's been forever but i'm trying to be back. The Red Sox are breaking my heart. I can't bear to watch so I changed the channel at the 7th. I've never been a ball fan but when it comes to the Yankees I get so hyped up.
I'm drinking some mocha and procrastinating away some precious time that should be spent writing a management paper. I've been stressing out lately but I need to stop and take things as they come. I have two tests tomorrow and my application stuff that's way way way behind schedule. but it's okay. This is all gibberish but that's okay too.
Oh Hey Ben you're gonna be so proud of me! I've been really good with my running lately and i've done an average of every other day at the gym. Each time i was there i've done at least 2 miles- i'm not sure i've ever done 2 miles at a time before in my life. the last couple of times have been kinda rough with breathing and such but oterwise it feels really good to do stuff physically.

alright folks i'm out,
hopefully my next one's a little better,

huzzah for bowling!

P.S. I miss you

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Date:2004-10-05 19:53
Subject:7 minute post

It's 7:53 on a Tuesday night, who wants to guess what i'll be doing in 7 minutes?:)
So I just made the mother of all cupcake batches. I think the mix made 24 but I made 12 instead..hehe. All chocolate.I was gonna use one for my friends birthday but I gave him the whole batch. oops, i took a side off of one. Let me know if your birthday's coming up and you just might get a batch.
Anyway, thursday i'm going off and away to Lenox,Ma for a student gvt conference. Should be interesting. I'm not very political at all and i'm kinda having second thoughts about running. I figure i'll be around political things all the time in the future so I might as well get my feet wet.
This semester is really weird. I'm feeling really lonely..kinda like caitlin aka gandrielgantz. I miss having all these different people around me that understood me and that I understood. Now it's all phone calls and such and everyone's too busyand sheesh! we all know how great I am with phone relationships.

I miss doing things for people. I miss my people.

Anywho, my 8 o'clock's on plus there's papers to be done.
night folks

P.S. I miss you

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Date:2004-09-29 17:30

Okay so it's official, we're moving. It's not all that big of a deal but it's nice. My parents got a place in Kings Lynn which is maybe 10 minutes away? I'm excited cuz i'll get to decorate from scratch:)...and of course there'll have to be a housewarming. The best part is there's a gym, tennis courts and a pool. Ben, this means I can finally buy me some Mizunos and put them to use.
Anyway, it's been forever since I wrote in here. Jxmint- I can't believe you're playing hockey- good stuff. See and you were saying what about my life decisions? Seriously though, I'm going to try and call you tomorrow and you have to try and be available. 10 or after.
Gissette, thanks for my package. It made my day! I've definitely decided on Davidson College as my first choice but i'm not sure if it'll all work out. I don't want to get all excited then not be able to go. School is crazy. I'm on Student Government and The Pennon and i'll be helping out with some women's center events and Program council stuff. Hopefully I can juggle it all and not go crazy.

Why don't people understand the basic rules of driving? If you're at a stop sign behind a car it doesn't mean that you can just breeze thru the stop sign when the car infront of you is going.

This is all.

P.S. I miss you.

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Date:2004-09-17 14:32

I've been sick for the past couple of days but I feel tons better. I hate getting colds but this one didn't last as long as they usually do so it's all good.I misplaced my wallet for a while there too and my parents got really ticked off. I hate when they give me lectures about things I already know, but even more when I deserve it.
Anywho, i've been a real jerk about calling people so if you're reading this and you're one of the masses, I'm sorry. This week i'll be better. I'm trying to do loads of things this semester so I can transfer into a decent place but it all just seems surreal. I ended up with 5 classes and i'm not so sure I can do everything or balance these things all out.

Marie Curry Walk this Sunday, woot woot.
P.S. I miss you

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Date:2004-09-04 22:37
Mood: calm

My internet is a little too attached to my dad. As soon as he left it decided to take a vaca too. But they're back now. It was crazy, everyone was flying out of Florida cuz of the hurricane so they jumped on the bandwagon too and came back a couple of days early.
I miss my sister. We keep missing each other. I'm glad you're updating though:)

Bobby B was at my work yesterday! I'm such an awkward little being at work but that's ok. Seeing him there made me realize how long i've been at my job. (4 months) This is longer than I thought I would have been but as much as I hate it sometimes it just doesn't feel like it's time to move on yet. It's weird. I'm going to be serving soon and I got a .50 raise so it's not all bad ;)

School starts on Wednesday. Some days i'm excited, like today. A girl at work said it best, "it'll be nice to use my brain again."


P.S. Congrats on 1 year Bob

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Date:2004-08-12 00:45
Mood: sketchy

People are leaving tonight, this week, this month. College don't you know? Two of the s.r.'s are gonna be gone come the morning and I can hardly believe it. Sheesh, I just graduated! Well okay maybe a year or something ago-but still. ;) I'm so excited for all of them, they're gonna gain so many experiences. I'll just miss them a ton.
I kinda want it to be my turn already. When's it my turn to leave? Not at all for the goodbyes because I want no part of goodbyes, but fresh doors, new material. This story line's gotten old and worn out its welcome.
It's all quite scary really. I sit here dreaming of this one moment when i'll be on campus and realize that I'm finally getting to be on my own and i'll be so excited but then i'll be sad and lonely and homesick.

I'm filling out apps.
l8r g8r

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